A Glimmer of hope

 It's been a while once again, I really suck at this blogging thing because all I ever seem to do is complain but it really is good for letting things out. Since I was last here I have slowly started gaining control of my diet by introducing rules such as; only eat at the table, this one helped because I did a lot of my secret eating in my room and didn't even look at what I had because I was to embarrassed. Now I also make sure to keep track of what I eat and I love the feeling of accomplishment that comes with having achieved something.

I've started exercising pretty regularly and to be honest I missed it, I always used to put it off, but now that I've done it more often, I've realised just how much I miss the feeling of getting up and stretching my muscles and seeing exactly what I can do and how much I can still improve.

Source

It's the holidays here and in that time I designated a week where I wasn't allowed to use the internet and that was probably the biggest learning experience I have had since I was 8. Things I learnt and did included:
1. How to solve a rubix cube, after having a breakdown at the thing for about 2 hours, I figured it out and sat there staring at the object of my frustrations thinking 'haha I beat you little cube and there's nothing you can do about it.'
2. I became so engrossed in a novel (Dante Valentine) that I made use of my insomnia and was glued to the book for about 6 hours. I read pretty often and I live in the land of the book fairies but I never really had the time to just sit back and read a book with no distractions from start to end. Not for a long time anyway. I think I will do it more often because there is just something about a good story that I have always loved. (Though I am always left with the feeling of loss when I finish the novel and go through withdrawal. Wishing it had never ended.)
3. I went outside and walked. No music, no calls, nothing. This in itself for me was pretty big because I haven't done that in ages. I've been so preoccupied with thinking, that I even neglected to play with my dog. I felt like I was free again, just rolling down a hill and pretending to be a gazelle as I tried to get through the 40 acres of grass (which somehow happened to be taller than me... maybe I should mow the lawn...). I chased my dog around and had a barking competition with him to see who could scare the most birds.

 I did quite a few other things but they were probably the most memorable.

As stupid as it sounds, that week was the best week I have had in a long time and I feel like I should do that again sometime.

I hope you are all doing well.
x