I'm not a popular person, nor am I particularly hated. Generally I'm the person who is just there, the one who is always around but would never be completely missed if they were gone. This in itself is completely fine, in fact, I like it that way because it gives me the freedom that many people don't have. That is, until you start getting attention from the popular people, or a certain popular person.
I admit to having been in many relationships, but I could never forget that amplified feeling of inadequacy that comes with dating one of those more liked people. When someone says 'you are so pretty,' or 'I envy you,' it is normally the words of single girls towards the person I have decided to attempt a relationship with and you suddenly become an ornament. How you look and behave suddenly reflects on the person in question and it almost feels as if you come from some higher class family that has high social standards. If you are not particularly good looking its a 'you have such a big heart for seeing their personality,' and if you are extremely attractive its whispers of 'what a good catch,' or 'I heard they were a slut.'
Body image begins to play a big deal in your side of the relationship unless you develop a thick skin and having been seen on both sides of the extremer version of the weight scale, sometimes it becomes harder to focus on the person you like. It may seem completely materialistic of me to say these things, but as someone who is usually invisible, suddenly gaining attention is almost terrifying because all of a sudden people can see you. There is no hiding and I can't help but feel like I can never match up to my more popular, smart and good looking partner. Self esteem is such a blessing I don't seem to have.
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