Tomorrow I finally made an appointment to see the school counselor, who I have been avoiding for years, in order to go to a short course with a group of people about stress management. She knows about a lot of my mental health history and I really don't want any of my friends to find out more than they already know. I've been coping alright with most aspects of my life for the past few months, with some new friends in the group that I hang out with, actually handing in assignments on time and going to school.
My biggest trigger is always when people find out, because I feel that people gain expectations of me based on the different labels that come with knowing, and that I am forced to try and meet them. This isn't at all rational but part of my mind perceives it as completely true anyway. So as opposed to acceptance or acknowledgement, ignorance has always been my safety blanket. I no longer have a therapist, it was nice to have someone to talk to sometimes but I'm trying to find out how to be as independent as possible.
I have one year left of high school and have the aim to further increase my grades based on the prediction I was given for a final score. I'm not particularly happy with it but I know that if I can achieve what I am while doing assignments the night before and not doing home or school work I obviously have a lot that I can improve on.
From,
Dorcha
Hey, congratulations! I think that's an excellent decision.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry about people finding out. First of all, people are way to selfish to notice things like that. Second, even if they did, they probably wouldn't think anything negative of it. :)