I feel so disgusting and fat, one of these days I know I am just going to start purging again, I don't want that to happen. I'm only 14. I hate feeling full because I know my stomach is getting bigger and I will eat more and I will get fat. Fat, disgustingly, horribly fat. I'm seriously having a break down but I won't tell anyone I don't want to hurt my family, I don't want them to doubt me and have to be careful around me. Go away Mia your not welcome here anymore. The lowest I've ever been was 38kg at 156 cm and now I'm 58kg at 160 cm I'm a big pile of fat. I need to lose this weight no matter what.
I will restrict, but I will not purge, not again, not anymore. I even know I'm just lying to myself, that I'm deceiving myself with false delusions but I don't want to have to count my calories and worry about these things like I did when I was 12. I just need to be skinnier and perfect.
No comments:
Post a Comment