It's almost that time again, Amaya, the night of the 31st of October. It was Halloween, 6 years ago but it feels like it was on a day ago when it happened. Maybe it didn't happen at all, it still doesn't feel right, people don't just die. Why did you go? Where did you go? You just jumped and it was all gone, everything I had ever worked for, fine I was 8 but 8 year old's have dreams to. You were my purpose for living then you just disappeared.
Everything changed, suddenly nothing made sense, I had to function around people, I always felt tired, I was almost numb, I cared about nothing except your grave, it was almost obsessive. That's how I became schizophrenic, apathetic, bipolar. Those are just words that mean nothing.
I started getting my emotions back, or at least being able to fake them. I lie, I manipulate but I'm still lost, you were more than a person. You were my humanity , what I can't be bothered to hold up anymore. I will go back to blissful apathy, forever. I don't care about people, never really did, but I don't want to die, yet.
Amaya, I will become a bodyguard, I will be a genius, I will get skinnier, I will be the best. No matter what it takes.
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