Sigh

Don't you just love that feeling when your mum thinks your anorexic just because you call yourself fat as a joke? Maybe I just like going for walks in the forest, doesn't mean I'm dying to lose weight. These are just new things as if you noticed before.

I've cut, attempted suicide, overdosed on pills, stopped eating for periods of times and NOW you decide to notice what is actually happening?! Yeah, you're the nurse aren't you supposed to be the all knowing one? This is the first time I've felt good in ages and suddenly you ruin the mood by thinking I'm doing worse. Maybe I've always had problems and things are getting better? But no, change is always bad for you.

I should have known. Why would I bother seeing the councilor? Why would I bother tell people? It's because I don't care, not physically anyway.

I cut to know I can feel pain, and I have an obsession with blood. I'm not depressed anymore.

I don't eat because I am literally not hungry. I don't want to be skinny.

I don't care about people because they are to much trouble. I have not been bullied before.

I exercise a lot  because its fun. I. don't. want. to. die.

Can't you get that though your head?